Coming Home Within Myself {my story}
Authentic. Committed. Supportive.
Anxiety. That word has felt like a secret, almost dirty word for a long time. A word I have wanted nothing to do with, an experience I have wanted to throw across the room and disown.
One time a friend asked me what ANXIETY feels like. For me, it is a racing: Heart racing. Mind racing. Skin sensations like electricity racing through my body. Am I breathing weird? I feel small and crumbly and like the world is moving ridiculously fast outside of me. I play the “what if” game and plan for every possible scenario, making sure I am ready for anything. Sleep is next to impossible. Eating is a struggle. Relating to anyone other than…wait…nope…Relating to anyone is so taxing.
This. Is. Exhausting.
Anxiety has been active in my life for over 20 years. It is tricky because from the outside, you probably wouldn't guess that I'm struggling. But the reality is that my baseline anxiety level - on a "good" day - can be a 6, on a 10-point scale. In other words, I just live with a racing heart. That's my normal. When it gets bad, it rolls into Panic Attack Central, complete with hyperventilation and I feel like a wild animal. It feels a bit crazy and shame is right there to let me know I probably am.
What to Do
I used to rely on journaling, prayer, reading inspiring books, and exercise to help me maintain some sense of composure. That would help, until my stores would run dry and I would be like a raw nerve. That’s like being at a 9 or a 10 all the time. Yuck.
In comes medication. Because who wants to deal with CRAZY? I have gone on and off some form of medication since I was 16. 16, people. But meds it was. I would get sick to the stomach, or have the runs, or my eyesight would get blurry, or I felt woozy and dizzy, or my emotions would totally flat-line, or I would be embarrassed for people to notice the scars in my elbows from having my blood drawn so often.
Today I don’t want to throw Anxiety across the room or disown her. Today I am able to be with her in a gentle and compassionate way. Today she is like a warning signal to me that something is out of balance in my life and I need to slow down and see what’s happening on a deeper level.
I believe that we develop strategies that help us make it through the challenges of growing up. These strategies help us navigate and make sense of what is going on and can look many different ways: From following rules, being a peace-keeper, maybe pushing people away so they don’t hurt you or perhaps being a wallflower so that you don’t make any waves at all. These strategies are parts of us. My anxiety is a part of me. For a very real reason, she came in to help me manage life. Unfortunately, while these strategies appear helpful in the moment, our parts are pretty unskillful at helping us in the long run. Anxiety seemed to help me, but when I slow down and really think about it, there are many alternative ways to approach life that are much more loving to myself and others.
Are you ready for the freedom available to YOU
on the other side of whatever you are facing?
Embodiment and Wholeness Coach
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Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees in Education with over 10 years in education, including as a Master Teacher
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Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy Certification through the embody lab
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Certified Professional Coach through Life Coach Institute
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Leadership Development Training and Advanced Leadership and Facilitation Training through COR
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5 years as a Certified Personal Trainer, training people's physical bodies and leading workshops around the country
With a power-packed tool belt, I create space to slow down, to be with what is, to tap into the innate intelligence that is in our bodies and to transform our relationship with our own heart, body, mind and spirit. It is about coming home within ourselves and welcoming in parts that we have wanted to disown or didn’t even realize were impacting us in a negative way.
Tools I use include: Somatic Tracking, Visualizations, Parts Work, Art Expression, Body Movement, Mindfulness and more!
Exercise Your Soul Vision
Conscious evolution from survival to thrival; from living in limitation and fear to living in authentic freedom and joy.
Exercise Your Soul Mission
To provide sacred, set-apart opportunities for people to awaken, cultivate and integrate the truth of their goodness and wholeness, empowering them to live fully from the inside out.