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A Conversation with My (younger) Self

Parts Work is the practice of bringing our present-day, healthiest, grounded-in-our-essence, self to activated younger aspects of our psyche.

These younger parts hold memories that we experienced and the {false} beliefs that we took on as children.

The memories are held in the cells of our bodies and the {false} beliefs continue to impact our present day life.


Finding Healing

When we meet ourselves in the pain and discomfort of the memory and the subsequent belief, we have an opportunity to bring healing to the un-doneness that occurred way back then. The simple act of seeing and hearing oneself relaxes the activated part, so they don't feel the need to hijack things in present day (think about someone taking the wheel of a bus and booting out the driver). When our younger parts are able to relax and trust that a bigger one is really taking care of them, we are able to live from a more grounded, knowing-our-truth place (it puts us, and keeps us, in the driver's seat).

This is the place of our wholeness. This is the process of coming home within ourselves.


An Example

The following is an example of how my adult, healthy self met my younger (7th grade) self.

The experience I remember was taking a free/reduced price lunch form to the office, because my family's income made us eligible for state assistance.

The belief I took on, that has continued to impact me into the present day, was that I am not worthy of having enough (let alone more than enough) of what I need and desire.


Here is what my 41-year-old self might say, "Honey, thank you for sharing your story with me. I feel your heart beating and your skin buzzing, from the day you had to carry that paper to school. To the office. I really get how BIG it felt, how loud the paper seemed to be screaming that you are poor. I feel the heat on your face and the bubbles rising up in your throat and I know how afraid you are that if you are poor, IF you need state assistance to get food, then it means you aren't worthy of ever having not just enough, but more than enough ...of money, yes...but I sense that you are afraid that this means you might not be worthy of having more than enough of anything. Is that right? Like love, friends, intelligence, joy, meaning, purpose, creativity? Do you feel afraid that you are forever just less than anyone else? Yeah. It feels really scary, doesn't it."

Then my 41-year-old self can step up as the BIG one, saying "I really get your fear, and I am right here with you now. I know you have felt so alone for so long. I'm sorry that I wasn't with you back then. It was so much for you to manage and felt so confusing and hard to understand. I am proud of the way you have navigated life. You learned how to be super resourceful and use what you do have. And you have made quite a life for us! But honey, it's exhausting, isn't it? You have been working so hard for so long and I know you are tired. I feel your tiredness. What if you didn't have to drive the bus anymore? What if you could just snuggle up in one of the passenger seats and read Seventeen? I'll drive the bus; I've got you, honey."

As my younger self begins to relax, I can periodically, intentionally check-in with her. This lets her know she really isn't alone and that I've really got her.

As she softens (and she will - she wants to just be a 7th grader, chilling out and reading Seventeen), I let her know what is true, "Even though you thought that having free/reduced price lunches and being "poor" meant that you weren't worthy of ever having more than enough of anything, that isn't true. What is true is that you were always and will always be worthy of having more than enough of all that is Good and moves your life forward. What is also true is that even though it has seemed like life just keeps proving that you are poor and aren't worthy, that has just been an illusion. It is not true. You don't even have to believe this just yet! What I know is that we have always had more than enough of what we've needed. If we ever didn't have something we thought we needed, it was because it just wasn't ours to have at that time - NOT because we weren't worthy. It is okay for this to feel confusing. Remember: I've got you. I can hold the confusing stuff with you."

To bring this sweet time with my younger-self to a close, I imagine my adult self holding her in whatever way feels right. She's in 7th grade, but boy does she still love being hugged. I remind her that I'll keep checking in with her and that I love her very much. While this is all in my mind's eye, here I place my hand lovingly on my heart. I take a deep breath in and out, knowing my worth, my enoughness, my wholeness.


Revealing Our Healing

Parts Work is powerfully healing. I believe, and have witnessed with myself and my clients, that as we sit and hold the stuff that doesn't yet make sense, in time we will understand whatever it is that is ours to understand. No force necessary; no convincing or scheming. Just seeing, hearing and being with. The healing work happens as we simply reveal what has been true all along.

Knowing deep healing that reveals your wholeness,

Rachel ✨

P.S. Read the BLOG that references this conversation HERE.


Rachel Sartori is an Embodiment and Wholeness Coach. She is kick-ass and heart-centered whether she is showing up as a workshop/retreat facilitator, a private coach, a writer or a speaker. Rachel invites you to exercise your soul, and participate in the healing of your own heart and the world around you. With Rachel, all is welcome, all the time.

Read: Exercise Your Soul: Ignite Healing and Wholeness in your Life and Live from the Inside Out

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