Whenever we notice an internal upwelling for more, the way forward is through. We must make adjustments, take a different approach and pare down to what is most essential for our forward movement in life, for our full expression.
Be You. That short, sweet phrase is so easy to say. Especially to a friend. Loved one. Your kiddo. And then you look in the mirror and think, "I better cover up {this part of me}, because if people really saw who I am, they wouldn't accept me." It can really seem that way. Do you know what I mean? The story in our mind convinces us that what we imagine is so. In fact, it probably seems like all the evidence points in that direction, proving the story of impending rejection. Our mind pulls bits of memory and what happened some other time to determine what will probably happen this time. It feels like it is just SO true that if we expose our authentic selves, we will be rejected. Our mind can be very cunning and convincing. Sometimes it is right on, but not always. It wants to keep us safe and alive, but at what cost? We want to be seen as we are, and yet it is a terrifyingly vulnerable thing to actually allow. We desire to live in FREEDOM, but to do so exposes our heart to the world.
Driving Through Fog
How do we move forward?
When I think about this, I remember a time I was driving through dense fog. It seemed to come out of nowhere and I was startled by how quickly I needed to adjust my driving. Because, it calls for an adjustment - you can't drive through fog the same way you drive through clear weather! There is nothing bad or wrong about fog, it just exists. IF we want to get through to the other side, we are invited to approach it in a different way.
Similarly, if we want to live in Freedom, if we want to truly BE ourselves, we have to adjust the way we approach life.
When I came upon the fog, I was driving about 70 mph, with cruise control, my music was turned up and I was singing along at the top of my lungs. When I got to the fog, I had to
S L O W waaaaaay down and turn off cruise control. I also realized I needed to refocus my attention on the rode, on the right edge of the road. Having my music up so loud and signing was not conducive for that! So, I turned the music off, and allowed my voice to be quiet.
This refocusing was a way of simplifying the situation and letting go of anything that wouldn't serve me as I traveled through the fog. It took a different level of energy, than cruising at 70 mph and singing show tunes. I was alert, aware, and just kept reminding myself to stay slow and watch the edge of the road.
If we want to live in Freedom, if we want to truly BE ourselves, we have to adjust the way we approach life.
I pared down to what was most essential for my forward movement. Whenever we notice an internal upwelling for more, this is the way: through. We must make adjustments, take a different approach and pare down to what is most essential for our forward movement in life.
That is the way of Freedom: there is nothing to hold us back or down; we express easefully and gracefully, in a way that expands life and love.
PARE Down When we PARE down, we practice Presence, Acknowledge what is, Remember our truth and step forward in a more full Expression: We meet the conundrum of Being Ourselves by PAREing down: 1. Presence: In this moment, what are you present to? How do you desire to BE YOU?
Are there words you want to express to another person, to share your heart and mind more fully?
Are you really hot and just need to take your shirt off?
Is there a hair style you have been aching to try?
Do you feel excited about a new idea and want to propose it at work?
💫Take a moment and be present to whatever is rising up for you - without doing anything. You might want to write it down in your journal, mentally affirm it, or whisper it aloud to yourself.
2. Acknowledge: What are you concerned might happen if you actually allow yourself to be fully seen as you are?
Allow this to surface, so that you can fully acknowledge it.
✏️Write it down, as a way to let it exist outside of your mind and body.
Don't just mentally acknowledge it! If we do, we are more likely to stay blended with it, stuck in story land and repeating the same patterns, never fully expressing ourselves.
Play it through as far as you can go. For example: "I am concerned that if I tell ______ what I really want to say, they will _______. If they respond that way, I will feel _________ and that would mean ________ about me."
💫Don’t rush away from this place. THIS is where the growing happens, the change, the transformation…
3. Remember: What is true about YOU?
Even though your mind remembers all the times when you tried to express yourself and it FAILED, there are plenty of times where you were successful.
Start small - The universe doesn't actually recognize large/small/important/not important the way humans do. Gravity holds a grain of sand to the earth, just as it does a mountain.
For example: "I remember how much I really wanted that tattoo - even though people thought I was crazy. And when I finally got it, I was soooo happy with it!"
Or: "I was so nervous to tell my boss I wanted a promotion, but when I did, she told me she was thinking the same thing for me."
Or: "I remember that time I was waiting for my partner to call the AC repair company, and then I realized I could call them just as easily...so I did and they came to fix the unit the next day!"
💫When we focus our attention on all the ways we already ARE our own unique selves, we rewire our brains to see the possibilities moving forward, not just the hinderances we perceived in the past. Here, again, I encourage you to write this down, or speak it out loud. It's okay to mentally affirm this AND it is most powerful to put an action with that affirmation. 4. Express: Affirm your Truth daily That thing you just remembered is TRUE about you? Turn it into a short affirmation or mantra that you can repeat to yourself every day.
Use present tense, affirmative language: I AM, I KNOW are great ways to begin your affirmation, especially ones to empower your capacity to BE YOU.
State as simply as possible what it is that is true. If I use the example of the conversation with my boss, I might say something like, "I KNOW what I am worthy of." OR "I AM empowered to be my best self at the office."
You can't actually do an affirmation wrong. There are a million verbs you can use, and so much good you can claim for yourself.
As you affirm your Truth daily, expressing the TRUTH of who you are, you cannot help but meet situations that will reinforce this truth - not the story that you've spent so many years burdened by. And suddenly, you will realize that you ARE expressing yourself in a more authentic, vulnerable and true way, regardless of what anyone else might think or say. Or as H.B. Jeffery says, It will not be that you have done anything yourself, except that you have known the Truth. The Truth, being recognized, acts apparently; and the freeing takes place."
"It will not be that you have done anything yourself, except that you have known the Truth. The Truth, being recognized, acts apparently; and the freeing takes place." - H.B. Jeffery
The PAREing down isn't meant to be easy. Driving through fog isn't easy. But it is possible...AND if you desire to be on the other side, the way is through.
With tenderness and love for the unique human that YOU ARE, Rachel
For Reflection + Journaling: ꕤ How did this land for you? ꕤ What are you present to in this moment? ꕤ How are you being invited into a fully expression of YOU?
Rachel Sartori is an Embodiment and Wholeness Coach. She is kick-ass and heart-centered whether she is showing up as a workshop/retreat facilitator, a private coach, a writer or a speaker. Rachel invites you to exercise your soul, and participate in the healing of your own heart and the world around you. With Rachel, all is welcome, all the time.
Read: Exercise Your Soul: Ignite Healing and Wholeness in your Life and Live from the Inside Out
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