Cultivating Self-Love calls for three things: to Know, to Embody and to Forgive.
In I Know that I KNOW, I describe the impact and power of bringing conscious awareness to what you know is true - no matter how small, or quiet, that knowing may be. Using affirmations supports us to strengthen this knowing and begin interrupting the unhelpful patterns and programming that we’ve been living with since childhood.
As we empower our neural pathways to proclaim, with much gumption, that we are indeed good and worthy, we begin to shift from logically knowing this truth into embodied knowing.
Embodied knowing means it is in our bodies; in our cells, in the very beingness of who we are. When we embody the truth of our essential goodness and worth, there is a transference from our head-knowing into how we actually show up in the world.
Think about your senses: these are how you engage with the world around you. When you embody the truth of your essential goodness and worth, the way you show up and engage with the world will reflect this truth. What you wear, what you listen to, what you eat - it will all reflect the innate AND conscious knowing that you are essentially good and worthy. Who you spend time with, how you spend your time, how you engage in touch - it will all reflect a kindness and love that honors YOU.
Please, Don't "Should" on Yourself There is no “right way” that this should look. This is super important to keep in mind. It might tend to look a particular way for you, most of the time, but maybe not at other times. There is a flexibility and continual wakefulness that you get to have, so that you can tune in to the actual moment at hand and consider how the truth of your essential goodness and worth is best expressed in a given context.
This is Self-Love, my friend! It means you love yourself so much, you know how wonderful you are at your core, that you can’t help but make choices from a place of care for you FIRST.
What might this LOOK, SOUND, FEEL like? When you love yourself, and it shifts from just being a great idea into embodied action, it will express as kindness and love that honors YOU, as choices that care for your heart. This is not instead of honoring or caring for someone, but it recognizes that YOU matter, too!
When you love yourself in an embodied way, it might show up as:
Taking a nap when you notice you are exhausted.
Wearing clothing that fits your body in a beautiful way and makes you feel alive.
Telling someone “no” when an invitation doesn’t feel in alignment, even if you don't know why.
Ending a relationship where you feel like you always have to defend yourself or that you’ve done something wrong.
Eating delicious food that you know will benefit your body long after you've consumed it.
Saying "yes" when that is what is true for you.
It probably won’t show up as:
Brushing off a compliment someone gives you.
Buying clothes because they are on sale and not because you love them.
Sticking around in conversations or relationships that feel yucky.
Being mean or cruel to other people, even if you have different ideas than them.
There is much more that could go into each list, and what goes onto each of yours will inevitably be different from mine. The key is to be aware and notice when there is a disconnect between what you know is true about who you are, and how you are showing up in the world. This is a journey of a life-time!
Processing and Practice You are reprogramming messaging that is buried deep in your subconscious.
It takes time, awareness and much grace to keep leaning in to the truth of who you are.
This means that the third part of this whole "cultivating self-love" thing needs to have a voice: Forgiving Yourself When you Miss the Mark, because the reality is that just because we want to show up in an embodied self-loving way, we don't all the time. Again...part of our human condition. So we will address that.
But not in this moment.
In this moment, your invitation is to consider how you are embodying self-love right now. Take a moment and consider, with much tenderness and curiosity.
Notice how you are living and breathing and being in a way that demonstrates knowing how good and worthy you are. (Hello - you are reading a great little blog on Embodying Self-Love, for one thing!)
And then notice how some of your choices may not be demonstrating this truth. Begin by just noticing.
When you are ready to make a different choice, a choice that better expresses through your body, just how wonderful you are, you will know.
And then? Do that! Remember: Self-love is the capacity to know and embody the truth of your essential goodness and worth, always.
Embodying Self-love means you love yourself so much, you know how wonderful you are at your core, that you can’t help but make choices from a place of care for you FIRST.
Freedom, Whole-hearted Living and, well, LOVE are the effects of deepening into and expanding your self-love. You shine most brightly when you are grounded in the truth of your goodness and worth. Keep Exercising Your Soul, dear friend!
Sending you so much love on your journey, Rachel
Other Blogs in this Series: Self-Love: Where Life Begins I Know That I KNOW The Bridge Back: Forgiveness
Rachel Sartori is an Embodiment and Wholeness Coach. She is kick-ass and heart-centered whether she is showing up as a workshop/retreat facilitator, a private coach, a writer or a speaker. Rachel invites you to exercise your soul, and participate in the healing of your own heart and the world around you. With Rachel, all is welcome, all the time.
Read: Exercise Your Soul: Ignite Healing and Wholeness in your Life and Live from the Inside Out