Self-love is knowing and embodying the truth of your wholeness and goodness...always. Not just when you are "good" or "acceptable" in your's or someone else's eyes. When you are loving and kind and things are going swimmingly, that's one thing. Knowing your goodness at times like that can feel easy and magical. But what happens when you don't make awesome choices or you do something that causes pain to another person? What then? Does it all go out the window? Does the goodness, worthiness, and wholeness change into a pumpkin?
The bridge back to knowing and embodying the truth of who you are is Forgiveness.
It All Comes Down To Love I believe our capacity to embrace the fullness of life all comes down to love. Because we are each individuals, it comes down to what we do with love - how we treat others, how we express ourselves in our communities, how we relate to the Divine, and ultimately how we treat ourselves. Ultimately, we can only ever fully love others to the extent we are able to accept and love ourselves.
Self-love is the capacity to know and embody the truth of our essential goodness and worth, always.
Embodied knowing means it is in our bodies; in our cells, in the very beingness of who we are.
We can only ever fully love others to the extent we are able to accept and love ourselves. The Outcome? When you know your essential goodness and worth; when you know that you are already whole...Then you will embody it and LIVE IT OUT. It will be natural, authentic and clear that there is no other way to be in the world.
The Flash-Point Knowing and embodying your wholeness and goodness is foundational to YOU living our your FULLEST LIFE - this is now established, right?
It is feeling like you are home, right where you were supposed to be all along. Until your humanity slips out. Because it will. Because you are human. There will come a time when you feel amazing, inspired, on-purpose and *FLASH* in the blink of an eye, you back into someone's parked car. (just for example)
In that split second, all the good of the moment before seems to be GONE and no where to be found.
What examples come to your mind of those times where you just, sort of, well, loose it?
Perhaps when someone doesn't load the dishwasher "correctly".
Maybe that moment, after asking your son or daughter 9 million times to put their shoes away, that you trip and fall flat?
Or when you wake up late, because you stayed up late and you run into work late, only to be greeted by another HR training that will take half of the day.
Regardless of what your flash-point is, it is your humanity leaking out side-ways and it tends to not be very pretty or very fun - for anyone involved.
It's Not a Pumpkin. In that moment of explosion (externally or internally), where is your essential goodness and worthiness? Did it go "poof!" like Cinderella's carriage and turn back into a pumpkin? Nope. Your GOOD is still right at the center of YOU. It never went anywhere and nothing is actually even wrong. The only thing that happened is that you became aware of your own humanity and your capacity to miss the mark sometimes.
It does NOT mean you are BAD or need to pay for what you did wrong.
I know, dear one, there is a part of you that is puckering up right now because you received or internalized a message about your goodness and badness and the conditionality of love and life. I am so sorry. When we feel separate and like something is inherently wrong with us, it is lonely and painful.
It can feel almost impossible to get back to the place where you know and embody the truth of your essential goodness and worth. Lucky for you, you have been building a strong foundation of self-love from which you can authentically forgive yourself when you miss the mark.
Forgiveness is the Bridge Back Forgiveness means we acknowledge the human condition and REMEMBER the Truth of our Goodness and Worth.
When you forgive yourself, it means that you CHOOSE to no longer hold your humanity against yourself.
Don't pretend that what happened was okay, because when our humanity leaks out in side-ways {flash-point} ways, it just SUCKS.
When we forgive ourselves, we drop the story that we are wrong and seek to repair the way forward, because ruptures happen. Repair is what matters. Remember: We can only love others to the extent that we fully love and accept ourselves. So it has to start with us, first. When we notice a rupture within ourselves, we can feel the pain and discomfort. But instead of lashing out at our selves in destructive ways, we turn towards our humanity with much compassion. We can place a hand on our hearts, acknowledge what happened (and how much it sucked) and remind ourselves that the truth is that we are so good, and so worthy, and so whole. We can step into a space of creativity and kindness to consider the next best step forward to repair the rupture.
What Might Repair Look Like?
Perhaps you need more self-reminding that the sucky thing that happened doesn't mean you are sucky. It just means you made a choice and it sucked. Now you get to make a different choice.
Perhaps you need to come clean with another person and acknowledge where you missed the mark, and how you feel about it. You can ask the other person how they are and if there is anything they need to feel resolution.
Perhaps the sucky feeling is really STICKY and you can't quite unstick from it. In this case, call on a trusted someone to remind you that the truth is that you are still good and worthy and you just made a choice that wasn't awesome. You can borrow their love until your own heart remembers the truth, on your own.
Cultivating Self-Love is a life-long journey. No matter what happens, regardless of the rupture, you can always come home within yourself through forgiveness. Don't hold your humanity against yourself any long.
I honor you right where you are and know how amazing YOU are. Sending you so much love as you are on this journey.
xoxoxoxo, Rachel
Other Blogs in this Series: Self-Love: Where Life Begins I know that I KNOW Self-Love Embodied
Rachel Sartori is an Embodiment and Wholeness Coach. She is kick-ass and heart-centered whether she is showing up as a workshop/retreat facilitator, a private coach, a writer or a speaker. Rachel invites you to exercise your soul, and participate in the healing of your own heart and the world around you. With Rachel, all is welcome, all the time.
Read: Exercise Your Soul: Ignite Healing and Wholeness in your Life and Live from the Inside Out
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