Holy Week is a set-apart and sacred time for many faith traditions. For me, it is also an invitation to see the Wholeness of life and welcome everything as Holy now. With much love for the tender journey we are on, and the ways we are each navigating our path.
Holy Week Growing up in the Mennonite Church (a Christian Denomination), I accepted that 'holy' meant set-apart as sacred and pure. Holy Week was an annual honoring of the journey of Jesus into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, to the Cross on Good Friday, and out of the tomb on Easter Morning.
I was moved by Holy Week every year, especially Good Friday. The heaviness and darkness of that day was a potent opportunity to face my short-comings: a broken human in need of a Savior to make me pure and acceptable to God. I did not question that I was broken, missing something, in need of an external something else to make me whole.
Broken
At the same time, it was confusing to witness that some things were revered as holy and other things less than holy. I didn't know how to reconcile or even name the confusion I felt, I just knew I didn't want to be caught on the less-than-holy side. This disconnection lingered, hidden, within me.
It was exhausting to stay engaged in finding ways to be more holy and compensate or reconcile my accepted brokenness of my own humanity.
Because...I never felt like enough.
There was always something I was missing or lacking or needing.
I was afraid that this was proof that I was indeed broken and then I would try to compensate and be more holy.
What's Missing?
As much as I thought I had accepted I was broken and needed an external Savior to make me whole, something didn't seem aligned. There seemed to be more fear in that being true, than an inarguable confidence that it was.
As much as part of me tried to be holy and make up for my billion flaws, afraid to be cast away, another part of me was not ready to fully accept this.
I have come to receive that Truth is inarguable.
If there is fear or hustle, worry or angst, effort to prove or justify, something is out of alignment. If it feels, like literally feels, off in your body, there is more to be revealed. Truth is also life-giving, rooted in love, and eternal. It will be as true today as it was 100s of years ago and as true as it will be infinite years in the future. Truth just is. Nothing missing. Nothing lacking. Nothing that is too much. It just IS. That is the essence of wholeness. It's all there. Nothing lacking, nothing missing. Nothing even broken!
Whole Now
I began to notice an inquiry rising up:
What if I am already whole?
What if I'm not broken?
In addition to flipping the paradigm that I based my entire life on, on its head, I felt light radiate throughout my being. Instead of guilt, shame and fear, I noticed freedom. And not freedom coming in from somewhere else. It was like the clouds parted and the sun, which had always been there, revealed its light.
I newly heard the relationship between Holy and Whole. I even learned that 'hāl' in hālig (the Old English word "holy" is derived from) means whole.
There is a sweet beauty to witnessing the everyday holiness of our world, the people in our lives and our experiences.
Listen to Holy Now, by Peter Mayer
That somehow, even if we can't see how from our finite human vantage point, everything is already whole, already holy.
This Holy Week I am present to an invitation to see the Wholeness of life and welcome everything as Holy now.
This song, by Peter Mayer, captures it: Holy Now
If this allows some clouds to part and freedom to shed its light within you, see what it is like to let that in. If this feels confronting and uncomfortable, notice that, and move forward in the way that feels right and true for you.
With much love for the tender journey we are on, and the ways we are each navigating our path.
xoxoxo, Rachel
Rachel Sartori is an Embodiment and Wholeness Coach. She is kick-ass and heart-centered whether she is showing up as a workshop/retreat facilitator, a private coach, a writer or a speaker. Rachel invites you to exercise your soul, and participate in the healing of your own heart and the world around you. With Rachel, all is welcome, all the time.
Read: Exercise Your Soul: Ignite Healing and Wholeness in your Life and Live from the Inside Out
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